I Like You

A good friend and saint is treating me to a little Northern California getaway for yoga, meditation and general granola eating and in the spirit of paying my good fortune forward, I thought I would leave behind this handy list from the much revered Himalayan guru, Amy Sedaris. Enjoy.

A SELF-REALIZED PERSON WILL...
- Be Unique in a way that is pleasing to everybody.
- Accentuate the positives- medicate the negatives.
- Have a hairstyle that is flattering to some and offensive to few.
- Have access to money.
- Never cry herself to sleep in front of others.

LEAR MORE ABOUT YOURSELF!
- Make a self-esteem collage using pictures of other people you with you were.
- Wing it! Quit your job without any financial plan or backup savings.
- Sleep with someone Chinese.
- Spend a lot of time in the bathtub.
- Disguise your voice and call family members posing as a police officer. Suggest that there has been a homicide and then question them about yourself.
- Spend some time at the zoo. Record how the animals react to your presence.
- Write yourself a fan letter.
- Put something small in your anus during lovemaking.
- Fly Air India.