Monday, July 24, 2006

hoes, feet, and other important matters.

There is something I feel I need to share.
It's been bothering me for quite some time now.
It's one of those deeply buried truths that I've been harboring in the dark hollows of my heart for fear of exposing my Achilles heel, but I can conceal it no longer.

I have abhorrent feet.

There. I said it.

-

I don't actually care that I have abhorrent feet.
I'm actually quite proud of their hideous nature.
In fact, I work diligently to contribute to their cantankerous appearance by wearing shoes that have no business attempting to befriend miei piedi.

Friday night I went to see Rene Risque and the Art Lovers, who were awesome as always, and wore a pair of 3" gold and silver heels that are, shockingly, not only comfortable but pleasurable to wear.
In the four hours of dancing that followed the strapping on of my strappy friends, the damage incurred was nil.
But who goes around wearing flashy 3" heels?

Last night, I went to a party for the release of David Mamet's film, Edmond, wearing a new pair of 1" white and gold slipper heels; seemingly less damaging, but they left me raw and bloodied.

Today, I was enlisted to roam through SoHo as fashion consultant/stylist to a friend who hasn't once shopped for new clothes in the entire year that I've known him. In our search to find the wardrobe that would redefine him, I naturally made a purchase of my own:
another pair of shoes.

Yet another pair in my quest to find the perfect pair.
A pair that will be at once fabulous, yet practical;
sexy, yet comfortable;
a pair that, I've come to realize, simply doesn't exist.

I wore my new khaki green wedge heels home tonight.
I walked from the shop to dinner, and from dinner to my apartment.
The distance covered was minimal but if there was a contest for most heinous sight of 2006, I can say with pride and profundity that my feet, as of now, could very well qualify for the grand prize.

I will have you know that all this suffering is for the sake of my art.
Which art that is exactly is yet to be determined, but I promise there is one, and once I find out what it is, I will pass the information along. In the meantime, you can sleep peacefully with the knowledge that, though my feet don't look good, my shoes sure as hell do.

If you read all this in hopes of getting to the "other important matters" that I promised in the subject line, I hate to disappoint you but I have nothing important to say.
If you haven't looked at my photos already, I suggest you do so now.
What you will notice is- i am a blonde.
An assisted blonde these days, but a blonde no less.

Tomorrow, I promise to dye myself mentally brunette and return to topics of relevance and interest.

Until then....

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