Wonder / Land

Only Sorta Goodbye

2011-06-21T12:32:00.000-07:00

Photo (a still from the film 'You & I') from my very first Wonder/Land Posting.

On July 24th of 2006, I stumbled upon something called Blogger and thought, "What the hell, why don't I start one of these online journally things?" And so began Wonder/Land. Now, just shy of 5 years later, I've decided to retire it (largely due to the fact that, while the rest of the world moved on to 2011, Blogger pretty much stayed back in 2006). I'll still continue to post inane randomness except I'll be doing it over at Persons + Things now, so click through and follow me! And thank you, reader, and you, Blogger, for the solid run.

Road. Trip. (virtual or otherwise)

2011-06-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

It's officially summertime (sort of?). Aka, time to try something new. To explore and adventure. To experience and encounter. And if you're stuck at a desk right now, then it's time to think about getting out from behind it. Music is a vehicle. Get in and drive.

https://www.dropbox.com/

user: mamitastember@gmail.com

password: roadtrip

Project Updates

2011-05-09T09:11:00.000-07:00

I'm so accustomed to posting all my updates on Facebook that I forget to share things elsewhere but in addition to my documentary The Long Way Home, I have been working on a couple of photography projects worth mentioning.

First off, there's the 2,552 Mile Project:

The 2,552 Mile Project was conceived as an artistic collaboration between two photographers: Alexis Stember in Brooklyn, New York, and Monika Clarke in the small northern town of Hayden Lake, Idaho. Each photographer shoots a roll of 35mm film and sends it to the other photographer, 2,552 miles away, who then reloads the roll to create a series of double-exposed images that fuse together two geographically based experiences into a single frame. With no more than a generalized theme behind each round of work, the hope is to encounter visual accidents that upset and/or affirm stereotypes and expectations; to capture in analog form a world that seems to grow smaller with each technological advance; and to see how close, or far apart, 2,552 miles really is.

And then there's The Delishous, a fun and frivolous look at faces and fashion on the street.

Click through and follow them both!

The Long Way Home - Teaser 2

2011-04-26T08:09:00.000-07:00

The second teaser for The Long Way Home, a documentary about my father, the photographer John Stember.

While the first teaser was largely my attempt to enter into the experience and perspective of my father, it was impossible to ignore that despite the film being about my father, it was being told from the perspective of his daughter, aka me. It is from my perspective then, that I share this teaser.

To give a little background, I should mention that I set out to make this film for entirely selfish reasons. I was in pain after a difficult year and hoped that in making a film about my father- in coming to terms with him and his journey- I might come to better understand myself and my own. The result of that pursuit is what's being worked into the feature-length documentary, The Long Way Home.

Both this and the first teaser are comprised of personal footage taken not for the film itself, but for keepsake purposes, with my Pentax K7 dSLR. The actual film is currently in post but updates and the official teaser are to follow, along with an inevitable request for your help and support.

Thanks for staying tuned.

Music: Tahiti by Bat for Lashes

The Long Way Home - Teaser 1

2011-02-03T10:01:00.001-08:00

I recently wrapped the shooting of a little project that's near and dear to my heart: a documentary about my father, John Stember. I'm not going to say much about it, and neither will this teaser, but the lyrics, courtesy of Tom Waits, might offer some elucidation. Many thanks for all the love and support I've received in endeavoring to do this. A long post schedule lies ahead but I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel. And that light, unlike this one, will be color graded. Stay tuned....

Hennessy "A Very Special Experience" Director's Cut

2011-02-02T00:46:00.000-08:00

In addition to my regular duties as an agency producer for Hennessy, I got to direct my first spot for them back in December. I had a serious blast shooting it so I hope there's a residual effect in the viewing. Enjoy! (With a fine glass of Henny, of course.)

Director's cut edited by the one, the only, The John Resner.

Client cut, edited by the lovely and talented Arthur Dougherty, can be found on Facebook. Log in and like it!

Many thanks to Greentea Films for being awesomely game with next to no prep time, and for working over the Thanksgiving break.

Royksopp - The Fear

2011-01-18T11:33:00.000-08:00

I'm in a video for my friends over at Charred Oak Films. We almost got arrested (twice) in the making so watch and give them some Royksopp love.

Merry Christmas from Me and the Pops!

2010-12-25T17:46:00.001-08:00

Musica

2010-12-08T09:54:00.000-08:00

I came across the modern equivalent of a dusty old shoebox full of tapes on the Internet last night. These are a few songs I wrote and recorded roughly 5 years ago when I first discovered Garageband. The quality is shoddy to say the least but it's kind of a fun visit to another time, and some of the harmonies I'm actually kind of proud of. Welcome to my attic. Dust off and take a listen:

Sinner *one of the first songs I ever wrote/recorded.

Whose Face Do You See *back when I lived in the East Village, my neighbor John Newell asked if I would sing a song he'd written lyrics for. Here's what I came up with.

What Is Left Is Love *I was clearly listening to a lot of Coldplay.

Falling *Written for a good friend who was entering tricky romantic waters.

Mama *I believe this was the second song I ever wrote.

Steve Martin, America, Art and the Box

2010-12-06T13:42:00.001-08:00

Normally, I'd post this on my Tumblr because it's of a less personal nature but seeing as Tumblr is down for an indeterminate period of time, I'm sharing this here. It's an excellent write up that uses the bizarre 92nd St Y/Steve Martin episode to raise a far more important and pertinent point regarding the role of democracy in art. I'm all for democracy in politics, social order, etc. but where art is concerned, it seems to act in a reductionist manner, leaving us with nothing but the lowest common denominator and in place of democracy, we get mediocrity. Just saying....

Miami Spice

2010-12-05T14:54:00.000-08:00

If Miami hasn't got it, they haven't invented it yet.
-Vincent 'Vinnie' DeMarco, Miami Vice

Andres of Green Tea Films

My first trip to Miami proved to be an extraordinary and entirely unexpected pleasure. Over this past week, I met a remarkable crew of filmmakers, directed my first commercial, experienced my first Art Basel, ran into a boatload of old and new friends, saw a private LCD Soundsystem show, ate and drank, then danced, ate and drank some more. It hasn't been 24 hours since I got home and already I'm nostalgic. Thanks to Max, Violet, Green Tea Films and my Mondrian-poolside-work-bungalow for making this an awesome December so far.

The exceptional Maximillian Chow

LCD Soundsystem @ The Raleigh Hotel

Sean and Tash of Green Tea Films

Southern Exposure

2010-11-28T15:22:00.000-08:00

One of the things I cherish about my apartment is the light that it gets in the early to late afternoon as the sun is going down. I shot this today at a moment when the light was bouncing off the floors and creating an isolated shaft of passing illumination. The light in the shot vaguely reminds me of the light in my father's work from the early 1980s, which brings a smile of joy and recognition to my face, even if I'm not showing it here. Tomorrow I leave to work in Miami for a few days, where I hope I will have time to capture a few photos full of warm southern light to share on my return. Until then....

A Maximalist Thanks to the Minimalist Chef

2010-11-17T07:59:00.000-08:00

I'd like a Mark Bittman in my pocket at all times, but I'll save that request for Christmas. Right now, I'm giving thanks in advance for my very favorite holiday.

Did I mention that I love the Times layout for this?

The Marriage of Claudia and Peter

2010-11-14T09:40:00.000-08:00

My friend Claudia married Peter, her boyfriend of ten years, at Peter's mother's home last night. It was a beautiful and warm ceremony, and of course I photographed (click photo to see more). Now we just have to wait for the birth of their undoubtably beautiful baby, due in April.

A Life On/Off Facebook

2010-11-12T08:36:00.000-08:00

Let me state for the record that I absolutely love Facebook. I love using it to keep in touch with the many wonderful people I've met in life and I love the constant exposure to new and interesting content that's shared across my various networks of friends. What I don't love is the seductive yet ultimately meaningless cycle of consumption and instant gratification that Facebook engenders.

And so, my friends, I have de-activated my account. Not forever, but for now.

It's time for me to fill the well again and engage in the slow, private process of content creation rather than consumption. Once I have something to show for myself, I'll return with the hope that ravenous content consumers like me are still out there, standing by to enjoy (or not) the fruits of my labor. Until then, I will relegate my internet presence to the occasional post here and on Persons+Things.

It's November 2nd

2010-11-02T10:26:00.001-07:00

Have you voted yet?

http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/visualizations/left-vs-right-world/

New Song : Forgive

2010-11-01T07:35:00.000-07:00

It's been a long while since I wrote or recorded anything but I was talking about childhood with a friend yesterday and it led me to pull out my dusty keyboard and lay down this thumbnail sketch of a track on Garageband (sans mic, hence bad tinny recording).

Forgive from Alexis Stember on Vimeo.

Forgive yourself for not being everything you thought you had to be,
Forgive yourself for falling short,
You couldn't save him no matter how much you gave or thought he needed you,
You can't blame yourself anymore.

Forgive yourself for not being everything you thought you had to be,
Forgive yourself for falling short,
You can't make him or any other person your responsibility,
You're a big girl now, not the child from before.

On Relationships

2010-10-07T16:25:00.000-07:00

Pool Party, Summer 2010

It would seem that much of what Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A. outlines below would be self-evident and yet many of us, myself included, would do well to remind ourselves of these basic guidelines for finding and creating a fulfilling relationship with long term potential. Keep in mind that this is written by a religious man so if you're an atheist or agnostic or anything else, take the God references with a grain of salt. They don't dilute the significance of the underlying message.

5 Golden Rules For Finding Your Life Partner

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr/Ms Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they’re getting married, they’ll say: “We’re in love.” I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date.
Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone).

Though this may sound not politically correct, there’s a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come.

Let me say it again: You can’t build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more.

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you’re serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1:
Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important?

Let me put it this way: If you’re married for 20 or 30 years, that’s a long time to live with someone.

What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart.

To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life – bottom line – and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2:
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.

Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust! i.e. trust that I won’t get “punished” or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.

A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings.

Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3:
Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person.

How can you test? Here are some suggestions
1. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
2. Are they serious about improving themselves?

A teacher of mine defines a good person as “someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing”.

“So, ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?”

Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world:
1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
2) People who are dedicated to seeking comfort.

Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.

You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4:
How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following:

1. How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc?

2. How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?

3. Do they show respect? If they don’t have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they’ll have gratitude for you – who can’t do nearly as much for them!

4. Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5:
Is there anything I’m hoping to change about this person after we’re married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to “improve” them after they’re married.

As a colleague of mine puts it, “You can probably expect someone to change after marriage … for the worse!”

If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn’t have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.

It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don’t want to find yourself in trouble because you didn’t do your homework.

HOW WILL I KNOW IF I’VE MET THE PERSON I SHOULD MARRY?

The choice of a marriage partner should not be based on “I get a warm, wonderful feeling whenever we’re together and I want to have that warm wonderful feeling forever, so let’s go get married”.

Feelings, as we have discussed, have no logic on their own. They need to be acknowledged, of course, but they need considerable assistance from your brain.

Marriage means choosing the person you will spend the rest of your life with. This, as you may have guessed, is a very long time to spend with one person.

This person will live with you, eat meals with you, sleep with you and go on vacation with you. More important yet, this person will share your children.

You need to choose wisely. The decision should not be made based on feelings alone. You need to ask yourself some tough questions. The decisions have to be made on solid considerations.

Will this person be a good partner? Is she mature enough to put her own selfish desires aside to look out for what is best for the family?

Is he prepared to be a good provider? What is his track record? Is he responsible enough to get a good job and keep it?

Will this person be a good parent? Can you stand the thought of your children turning out exactly like this person?

They will, you know. Children spend a lot of time with their parents and consequently pick up many or most of their parents’ character traits.

You had better like your spouse’s traits a lot because you will be seeing them again in your children.

If something were to happen to you, would you completely trust this person, alone, with the task of raising and forming your children? This is not a pleasant thought, but it is an important consideration. Not everyone dies at a ripe old age with great grandchildren gathered around the bed.

Sometimes a parent dies and leaves young children in the care of the other parent. If you feel that you would need to be around to correct or lessen this person’s influence on your children, then you are considering the wrong person.

Does this person share your faith in God? God does not give us children so that we can mould them into the coolest, most popular people in school. Our job is to get them to heaven. To do that, we need to raise them believing in God. It is tough to do that if only one parent believes.

Saying “This is right and that is wrong, and I want you to ignore Mommy until you are thirty-five” does not work.

Small children ask about eight million questions in a single day. The answers to those questions go a long way toward forming the kind of adults they will become. Who will be answering those questions for your children?

Does this person you are marrying have sexual self-control? Single people sometimes have this idea that marriage is just some kind of lifelong sex festival and that as long as they have each other, they will never be tempted by other people. Wrong!

There are many times in every marriage when one partner or the other is sexually unavailable – illness, the last months of pregnancy, travel.

There are also times when spouses, just get on each others’ nerves. At times like this, other people can seem very appealing. That can be dangerous, because there are plenty of very attractive people out there who are willing to make themselves available to married men and women.

Do you want someone who has never said “no” to sex? If he is not good at saying “no” at eighteen, it won’t be different at forty. Do you want to worry about whether or not your spouse is being faithful?

These are very important questions, and if you are not comfortable with all of the answers, you should definitely not marry this person.

None if this is to say that feelings play no role at all in a marriage decision. You don’t have to, “Well, I suppose that you would make a good spouse and parent, so even though I don’t particularly like you I guess I’ll marry you”. You need to be happy and excited about the prospect of spending your life with someone. Your brain however must acknowledge that this person as a good choice.

Don’t listen to your heart alone nor your head alone…

Wait until your heart and head agree.

Chemical Exuberance

2010-09-27T22:57:00.000-07:00

I have finally, finally gotten my hands back into some HC-110 and it feels remarkably good. This is the first roll of film that I've developed in over four months. Which is crazytown. More rolls to come....

Our Nation's Capital

2010-09-27T14:15:00.000-07:00

Lincoln Memorial

Those who know me know that I like to travel. I don't particularly care where I go; I just like the way that travel shakes my seemingly familiar grasp on reality and gives me a fresh perspective on the things that so easily become commonplace or mundane.

My recent goal has been to escape the city, or at least explore one of its more unfamiliar alcoves, each weekend. I'm only two weeks in but so far so good and this past weekend, I finally made it to a city I've meant to visit for years: Washington, DC.

Washington Monument

One thing I figured out pretty quickly is that there's a lot to do in DC, and I only had a day and a half so I took it easy and indulged my feet in wandering aimlessly (and maplessly) for a few hours before my amazingly gracious hosts, Cameron and Joe, met me and gave me a serious taste of DC awesome.

Petty Cabbing It

We started with sunset drinks on the rooftop of the W Hotel, from where I got a rough lay of the land ("Oh, there's the White House! Right there in front of me! And the Washington Monument. And Ooo ooo! I can see the Pentagon over there!") and then we did what none of us had ever done: petty cabbed it down toward the Lincoln Memorial but on our driver's recommendation, stopped first at the Einstein monument where there happened to be a poetry reading (yes, there is an Einstein monument that apparently nobody but a group of English poets knows of. Score!).

Einstein Monument

From there, we walked down to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, which I've observed plenty on TV but which really took my breath away in person as one of the most beautiful and tasteful memorials I've ever seen, and then on to the Lincoln Memorial, the Washington Monument and finally, Joe's rooftop where we BBQed ourselves some dinner and ate with a view on the US Capitol building.

Kind of amazing....

Vietnam Veterans Memorial

Other incredibleness that I discovered while in DC, thanks to Cam and Joe?

Marvin's for late night drinks.

Ben's Chili Bowl for even later and truly ridiculous chili smokes and chili cheese fries (just what you need at 3am).

And the entire Eastern Market section of town for Sunday afternoon perusing.

I'm liking you, Washington. Keep on keeping on.

Chiaroscuro

2010-09-16T04:03:00.000-07:00

After an extended absence, it feels incredibly good to return to my camera again.

Go Do

2010-09-12T16:59:00.000-07:00

There are certain songs that leave me really, really happy. This is one of them.

Fashion Week

2010-09-11T06:32:00.000-07:00

Fashion week in NYC is really something else. Generally speaking, I hate both crowds and fashionistas but I have to credit Luke Wooden for making this year's fashion week a whole lot of fun. He was here from California to put on the LnA presentation (for which he also shot the very sexy wall projections) and after party at Milk Studios, all of which were a huge success. Kudos, signor ;)
Watch the video that Luke and Brian put together for Radar.

Video for Vimeo File v2 from The Milk Group on Vimeo.

American Gothic

2010-09-10T09:56:00.001-07:00

American Gothic, Martha's Vineyard, 2009 — from the series American Stories Photo © Palmer Davis

I love this take on American Gothic, the original of which was painted near my hometown in Iowa.

(via Flak Photo)

So You Think You Can Dance?

2010-09-08T07:28:00.001-07:00

This video needs no introduction. It's just pure awesome.

Permanency and Illusion

2010-09-07T06:59:00.000-07:00

The past four months have been a remarkable period of new experiences and reflections for me and I woke this morning with a deep feeling of gratitude for all the things, both painful and pleasurable, that I've encountered in this brief stretch of time. Life is a bizarre sequence of random events that sometimes organize themselves into moments of clarity and when I heard this quote this morning, it resonated in a way that I felt worth sharing. Despite the new agey language and regardless of your larger beliefs, I think there is something to this line of thought that can be good and useful for everyone.

“When your deeper sense of self is derived from Being, when you are free of “becoming” as a psychological need, neither your happiness nor your sense of self depends on the outcome, and so there is freedom from fear. You don’t seek permanency where it cannot be found: in the world of form, of gain and loss, birth and death. You don’t demand that situations, conditions, places, or people should make you happy, and then suffer when they don’t live up to your expectations.

Everything is honored, but nothing matters. Forms are born and die, yet you are aware of the eternal underneath the forms. You know that nothing real can be threatened."

-Eckhart Tolle

Everything That's Best I Wish You

2010-06-14T16:57:00.000-07:00

I heard this song, which is actually called Not Supposed to Miss You, for the first time tonight. The musician Frally, who was married to Ben Folds for nine years, does a beautiful job of capturing the complicated emotions that go along with a long term relationship that reaches its conclusion. Not Supposed to Miss You is a fairly recent self-released digital recording off Frally's debut album, The Light.

A Little Camera Talk

2010-06-11T12:57:00.001-07:00

My friend Monika asked me last night if I was on a photographic sabbatical. The answer is yes, but only temporarily. I'm currently concentrating on things I haven't managed to focus on in years like yoga, organizing my apartment, making new friends, etc. That said, I miss taking pictures and will be taking more soon. In the meantime, I sent off all the film I shot on my recent, remarkable vacation in France so I will have those to post shortly. In the meantime, here's a shot of Marion in Cannes that I took with Monika's Nikon D40 and an old non-metering lens. I am not a Nikon shooter and hadn't shot with the D40 before but I really fell in love with this little kit. If I weren't so heavily invested in Pentax, Nikon would definitely have my attention. For anyone who wants a cheap but excellent entry into digital photography, I think the D40 and an old lens, which together would run a total of around $375 from KEH.com, is an awesome way to go. It's light, it's intuitive, you'll have to learn about things like shutter speed and aperture (aka photography!) and the pictures will look and print wonderfully, so long as you don't plan to print larger than 8x10, but then, who even prints anymore?

Y'All Can Cook

2010-06-09T12:27:00.001-07:00

Pure magic.

Y'All Can Cook from Alexis Stember on Vimeo.

Healthcare Then and Now

2010-05-02T14:09:00.000-07:00

I was going back through a bunch of old material that was on the Internets (most of which I wish I could take down) when I came across this video that I made two years ago. Wait for the dialogue and recognize the significance of the healthcare bill having been passed.

Going to Scranton, PA with friends to volunteer for the Obama campaign, September 28, 2008.
Yes We Can.
*No voters were harmed/barraged by cameras during the filming of this video.

Introducing Mila

2010-04-29T17:48:00.000-07:00

There's a beautiful new member in my family. Say hello to my lovely second cousin, Mila :)

A Pic for a Gray Day

2010-04-09T09:14:00.000-07:00

Joiugblog

2010-04-07T03:54:00.000-07:00

my lovely friends joy and doug blogged about the individual polaroid (actually fuji) transfers we made last weekend that will be used as save-the-dates for their upcoming wedding. they are also leaving their jobs to take off for a magical american cross country roadtrip before their nuptials which they'll be documenting extensively on this blog. come live vicariously through them like i'll be doing! :)

joiugblog

John Stember at Work in Tahiti

2010-04-04T21:53:00.000-07:00

Check out my papa at work on this French TV show! Skip to 1 minute and 45 seconds in the clip. You can hear his English peeking through the French dubbed translation. I heart my dad.

Veuillez installer Flash Player pour lire la vidéo

Tahiti - La Vahiné ( Thalassa - John & Tumata ) sélectionné dans Arts & Talents et Danse

http://www.wat.tv/video/tahiti-vahine-thalassa-john-2eevf_288en_.html

Metric at the Palladium

2010-03-27T18:57:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the extraordinary awesomeness of music producer Ben Einziger and photographer/director Brantley Gutierrez , I not only got to go see Metric play the Hollywood Palladium, I also got a photo pass! Great show; amazing people. I like LA more and more each time I visit. Click through for more pictures.

When My Left Hand Hurts, My Right Hand Feels

2010-03-09T15:23:00.000-08:00

I wrote this piece a couple years ago and it came to mind recently for a few reasons that are less interesting than the story itself so I thought I'd post this rather personal piece. It is very much dedicated to my mother (pictured), my grandmother and the generations of relatives I've never known.

When My Left Hand Hurts, My Right Hand Feels

(the original- and rough, I might add- version of this story was published under the same title in the first edition of 12th Street, Vol. 1 in 2008)

In the photographs I've seen of her, of which there are very few, she looks like a happy person. Her eyes, soft but open, glimmer and her smile curls slightly at its edge like a piece of paper poised to burst into flames.

I picture that day in 1967 as cold, dark, and snowy, like so many other winter days in Sweden. I don't actually know if it was winter when she died, or who found her or how, but I know that she chose pills, the backwoods, and that her mother had ended her life similarly years before. I've often looked at those photographs and wondered about this woman, this grandmother of mine, who like the rest of my ancestors, I’ve never met.

I was six years old when I first remember seeing my mother cry. It was 1987 and we were at home in Iowa. I walked into her room and there she was, sitting in bed, her face wet with tears. She had always been a gentle, soft hearted woman—soft as her mother's eyes—but I had never seen or suspected the source of that softness. To me, she was nothing but strong, the pillar of our single parent household, but standing there I realized for the first time that she, too, knew what it was like to be a child. It caused my chest to throb with a pain that, while familiar, I didn't understand.

My mother, the oldest of three, was nineteen when her mother's body was discovered in the woods with a belly full of barbiturates. Or benzodiazepines. Or some other sleep-inducing form of relief, the specificity of which I'm still not sure. As much as can be possible, I don't think my grandmother’s death came as a surprise. She'd already attempted her life once before when her husband, my grandfather, died of an illness that left her with three young children, a fulltime job and a welfare check that barely kept a one bedroom apartment in working class Sweden in 1963.

My mother and I didn't talk much about family when I was growing up, not out of avoidance but due to the day to day realities of our existance: my father had left when I was one and I was, and still am, an only child. On occasion, she would mention something about her mother, her father, or her life as a young girl and though I heard, I never quite listened. Her stories were like ghosts in an unknown world that I wasn't quite sure I wanted or was ready to inhabit. At this point a teenager, I had my own self-centered pain to contend with.

In 2002, when I was 21, my mother and I went back in Sweden after an extended absence to celebrate her brother's 50th birthday. When we arrived, he welcomed us and put our luggage upstairs where my cousins, young men now, usually slept. My mother and I took our time unpacking and spent the next few leisurely days walking through Mälarhöjden, the suburb in Stockholm where my uncle and his family lived.

We wandered the familiar rocks and waterways, took the Tunnelbana to see her old school, to drink coffee and eat kaffe brod with friends in Gamla stan, and eventually to visit her old home, an apartment on the second story of a two-story brick complex that I had never seen, located on the outskirts of town.

The building was far less sentimental than I'd imagined it would be. It didn't have the romanticized charm of poverty that I'd pictured in my mind's eye. Instead it was cold and utilitarian; a box surrounded by more boxes in an unexpectedly developed neighborhood. I wondered where the backwoods that my grandmother, and great-grandmother before her, had wandered into for her final comfort was. Was that it? That small cluster of trees there? Or that? The bit of brush between between those buildings?

My mother and I came home in the late afternoon, poured a glass of water and sat together on the twin bed upstairs like school girls. Slowly, quietly, we drank. My mother pulled out a photo album that her brother had been keeping, an album I hadn't seen. It was their mother's album. She opened it and pointed to faces I didn't recognize with names I didn't know scrawled beneath.

I saw a man- my grandfather- and recognized my uncle, my aunt and my mother in his face. I saw a woman- my grandmother- staring softly through black and white and saw in her eyes the tears that now filled mine. They were the same tears, I realized, that had filled my mother's eyes when I'd walked in on her as a child and found her crying. Looking again at the picture, I noticed a pain that I recognized as my own, a pain that for years I'd felt helpless to fix or understand, and now, finally, I understood it. I understood what I imagine my grandmother did not.

My mother wrapped her arms around me and we continued to cry. "I had a dream last night," she said. "I had a dream that I was a body, and my mother was my left hand and you were my right and I was in the middle. And when my left hand hurt, my right hand felt it. The whole body felt it."

Winter Wonder Land

2010-03-02T14:15:00.000-08:00

Let's say it's winter and you're really excited for the cold, and then - it snows! Oh the joy! You want to grab your camera and document it to show just how magical it all can be. Well if that's case, then this is how you do it, and do it well.
Photos by the talented Danny Zapalac.

Thank Yous

2010-02-21T18:10:00.001-08:00

Megan, Crystal and I just wanted to thank everyone for coming last night. I know a lot of people came and ended up not getting in and we're profusely sorry for that. Rules about overcrowding and backward notions about lists, commerce and the like put a slight damper on the free spirit we conceived this party in, but for those who made it up the stairs, we hope the liquid night was as entertaining for you as it was for us.

It was great seeing so many lovely faces and for those we didn't get to see, we promise more parties in the future and this time, we'll make sure it's a space all our own so we get to mandate the rules and regulations- those rules and regulations being that there are none. We'll call them Red Parties and make sure not one person is turned away at the door, that there's cheap beer and liquor for everyone and that everyone has equal opportunity for reckless nocturnal abandon.
One for all and all for one.
We love you!!!
x.

Wintersplash Tomorrow Night!

2010-02-19T12:00:00.000-08:00

Hello all! Crystal, Megan and I are very excited to remind you that Wintersplash is- waaaait for it… 1 DAY AWAY!!! Leave your winter woes behind you and enter the world of summer fun for a night with the aid of pool toys and alcohol! IT’S GOING TO BE UNREAL!!! And the RSVPs just keep pouring in.

Alright, a few details before we get started:
If you’ve never been to the Grace, you should know that you can swim up to the bar to get your drink on but if you prefer, you can remain fully clothed and sip your libations on the other, dry side of the bar. There are implications to both of these options and they are as follows:

If you want to dry dock yourself at the bar, you just have to walk in and you’re set to drink the night away at the cash bar. For those like myself who want to enjoy the amenities of the pool, sauna, Jacuzzi and swim-up pool, there is a newly instituted admission fee of $10. The up-side of this charge is that it keeps the minions out who would otherwise overcrowd the pool. However, I know some would rather keep the night on the cheap, in which case I recommend the following: pre-game it. Come warmed up with the liquor of your choice and spend your green to get into the blue because that’s where the fun will be. Another much more costly option involves renting a room for the night (what the hell? Why not?) in which case pool entry is, obviously, gratis. Lastly, if there’s a group of you, you could buy a bottle and that grants you access to the pool all night as well.

Whatevs. We just want to have fun so if it floats your boat, do it.

One last thing: if leave your pool plunge decision to the last minute and/or don’t have a bathing suit, fear not: I’ve been told suits are sold at the front desk for $20. Modesty and alcohol usually don’t mix so we expect to see you poolside after your 2nd shot.

In summary:
-sit at the bar clothed= no admission fee/$cash bar
-swim, sweat and Jacuzzi= $10 admission fee/$cash bar
-wintersplashing the night away= priceless!

We can't wait to see you! It's going to be AH-MAZ-ING!
xxx.
The Ladies Who Lunch (and Drink and Swim)

Solitary Confinement

2010-01-27T14:54:00.001-08:00

I've posted a small series called 'Solitary Confinement', which hopefully communicates a slightly different connotation of the practice and phrase.

Giphantie- A New Blog

2009-12-04T12:16:00.000-08:00

I've started a new blog on Tumblr called Giphantie. As you'll see on the site, Giphantie is the name of the fictional novel by French author Charles-Francois Tiphaigne de la Roche that prophesied the creation of photography. I quite like the format of Tumblr and will be posting small collections of my photographic work there. Using the menu on the right, you can view as a grid (best to see overall collection) or list (for individual photographs).

UPDATE (2/1/10): I've scrapped the idea of a blog and gone for a website. You can find my work at Ingmari Productions.

New Tracks

2009-11-28T18:26:00.000-08:00

The truly excellent band Ladycop has just posted 3 new tracks on their MySpace page. Check out a show if you ever have the opportunity.

Music for 16 Futurist Noise Intoners

2009-11-13T05:43:00.000-08:00

Apologies for the bootleg soundtrack (recorder placed under my chair). Description of the night from the Performa website:

Music for 16 Futurist Noise Intoners "is an evening-length concert of original scores and newly commissioned compositions for the intonarumori, or “noise-intoners” As part of its celebration of the 100th anniversary of Italian Futurism, the Performa 09 biennial, in collaboration with the Experimental Media and Performing Arts Center (EMPAC) and SFMOMA, has invited Luciano Chessa to direct a reconstruction project to produce accurate replicas the legendary instruments (8 noise families of 1-3 instruments each, in various registers) that Russolo built in Milan in the summer of 1913. As the first instruments capable of creating and manipulating noises through entirely mechanical processes, the intonarumori can be considered to be the original analog synthesizer, and the ancestors to the latest electronic synthesizers used today."

Back to the Future, California - Ulrich Krieger

En Sockerbagare

2009-11-12T12:43:00.000-08:00

photo by ChrisH.

I recently did a small ethnomusicology piece about a song my mother used to sing to me. I like to think of it as the seed of a larger ethnomusicology project on traditional Swedish music, particularly children's songs. I have another work in progress at the moment so I will have to return to this down the road but in the meantime, here's that seed.

En Sockerbagare -

PS- On a technical note, I'd like to add that this was recorded with the Recorder app on my iPhone. I happen to think there's something really lovely about working with lo-fi gear and encourage anyone interested in creating something themselves to use whatever is at their disposal.

Note to Self

2009-11-10T09:55:00.000-08:00

Don't drink and lean.

Picture of the Day

2009-10-30T09:54:00.000-07:00

I wish I could just follow photographers I admire around quietly observe their working process. This picture is by self-described photographer/videographer/visual journalist Daryl Peveto. I think it is quite beautiful. In fact, the whole series is worth a look.

10 (More) Things Highly Recommended

2009-10-29T13:01:00.000-07:00

1. Doug Dubois

I don’t have much to say about Doug Dubois other than that I really love his work. If I were to go into much more detail, I fear I may destroy the magic of discovering it for yourself. I can think of no better way to make initial contact with Dubois’ work than to see it in person on the walls of the Higher Pictures Gallery, which will be exhibiting his Family Photos starting today October 29^th (book signing from 6-9pm tonight for those interested) through December 5^th.

2. The Moth

It delights me to no end that The Moth, a New York City based nonprofit organization that has been conducting live storytelling events since 1997, has been picked up by the marvelous Jay Allison (who is also a contributor to one of my favorite websites, Transom.org) and Atlantic Public Media for distribution via PRX. In short, this means you can request it to be played on your local public radio station, and if you don’t know why you would want to do that, let me direct you to listen to a podcast or two. I’ll be damned if you don't love it.

PS- If anyone has an extra ticket or two for the upcoming Moth Ball in November that they’d like to donate for an armchair artist/storyteller (that would be moi), I can promise you homemade pie and a big kiss on the cheek.

3. The Post-it Note Reading Series

A wonderful series that pairs audio (live short story reading) and visuals (illustrations on post-it notes projected onto a hung bed sheet) in a deeply engaging and entertaining fashion. The authors reading have generally not seen the post-it note illustrations in advance and their reactions to the artists’ renditions of their stories is often half the pleasure. The series is held sporadically at the KGB Bar in the East Village. Check the website for details.

4. Dr. J Caldwell's Meow Mix and Ill Beats

Dr. J is a scientist who studies pain in fruitflies. He is also a man who knows his music. You can subscribe to his kick-ass weekly Meow Mix, featuring an eclectic selection of you-never-know-what-but-you’ll-always-like-it tracks and delivered to your inbox if you send an email to jason.caldwell@duke.edu. You can also check out his Ill Beats hip-hop radio show on WXDU. It's online anywhere or on the dial if you’re in North Carolina.

5. Ladycop

This Brooklyn-based band has a legitimately great sound that transcends any hipster labels potentially bestowed on such bands (and no, you did not hear them announced as ‘Lady Cock’ at their last show, though that would be a pretty wicked name as well). While it would be easy to say that I am biased in my opinion (female band member Anne Carlisle is one of my bestest friends and has been since I was 14), I assure you that friendship does not buy you a good review in my book. Anne, along with band mates Derek Kretzer, Cliff Rawson and Kolby Wade, have real musical synergy and direction, but don’t take my word for it. Check out some of their upcoming shows in November and judge for yourself.

6. Portroids

It’s been very rewarding to see Rick DeMint, who has been laboring on a project he calls Portroids (Portraits on Polaroid) for the past 6 years, get some well deserved attention lately. Since 2003, Rick has been meticulously recording everyone he’s met on instant film (myself included). Kanye West and the SUNFiltered Sundance Channel Blog gave it kudos, and so they should.

7. City Girl Café

Very simply the best latte to be had in New York City. ‘Nuff said.

**Bonus points to you if you get one of their granola bars, peanut butter balls or brownies to go with it. They’re all out of this world.

8. Not Coming to a Theater Near You

If you like movies, especially obscure titles, you’re going to love this site. Those of you fortunate enough to have a Sunshine, Angelica, IFC, Film Forum or other art house nearby may recognize some of the titles but then again, maybe not. As stated on their site, Not Coming to a Theater Near You “assumes a bias towards older, often unpopular, and sometimes unknown films that merit a second look. This site caters specifically to those who find an impotent similarity in the ‘New Releases’ section of a video store and whatever’s “coming to a theater near you.’”

9. Conscientious

As you may have gathered by now, I like photography. In fact, I like it quite a lot, so much so that I derive great, unending satisfaction from reading about it at length. The place I most enjoy reading about it is on the exceptional blog, Conscientious. Jörg Colberg (in photo above interviewing Helen van Meene) consistently culls invaluable information, insights, opinions and links to things my daily routine can simply not do without.

10. Reporters Guide to Multimedia Proficiency

I am a big believer in expanding the horizon, definition and accessibility of journalism. This 42-page document is an excellent and generous primer on the technical aspects involved in creating content for the evolving space that affordable technology has created for us all. Exercise your inner citizen journalist and use it.

____________________________________

Addendum:

I couldn't conclude this list without adding something I can't believe I forgot- the recently released documentary, Disturbing the Universe. It's a very impressive and thought-provoking film made by the daughters of William Kunstler about his seemingly illustrious and not so illustrious life and career. 110% worth seeing.

Standing in a Web of Dreams

2009-10-08T14:57:00.000-07:00

I was challenged today to create a story out of 10 of my photographs. Actually the task was just to submit 10 random photographs but I wanted to create something a little more cohesive, even though it means I don't get to showcase all my favorite shots. I just think a little narrative keeps it interesting. Here's the result:

Standing in a Web of Dreams: A Journey from Life to Death
Following the arch of mortality from faceless youth to traced memory in ten photographs.

Rolleiflex 2.8F

2009-10-02T04:44:00.000-07:00

I recently sold a ton of photo gear I had, including a Hassy 500cm with two lenses (film), a Lumix G1 with two lenses (digital), Olympus XA (film) and two Canon L lenses, in order to buy a pristine, perfectly functioning Rolleiflex 2.8F, the same camera that I learned Helen van Meene uses for her portraiture (she also shoots exclusively with Fujicolor Portrait NPH 400 Professional Color Negative Film, which is now called Fujicolor Pro 400H). I absolutely love this camera and plan to use it as my sole medium format body. The fixed focal length does not bother me a bit, and I bought a Rolleinar 1 and 2 to enable close up shots. Having owned a Hasselblad, a Mamiya 6, a Perkeo II and an RB67, I can appreciate them all but love my Rollei best.

10 Things Highly Recommended

2009-09-28T10:35:00.000-07:00

1. The Robert Frank exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC (through Jan 3, 2010)

2. Judith Ehrlich and Rick Goldsmith's documentary, The Most Dangerous Man in America

3. Yigal Ozeri's Desire for Anima photorealist paintings at the Mike Weiss Gallery (through Oct 24, 2009)

4. Lomax the Songhunter, a documentary about ethnomusicologist Alan Lomax

5. Pizza anywhere in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn. You pretty much can't go wrong.

6. The Ikea Water Taxi (free for everyone on weekends and bike friendly) and Staten Island Ferry (always free, and you can buy beer onboard for the ride)

7. Brunch at the Sri Lankan restaurant SanRasa in Staten Island

8. Ping pong at Spin in NYC

9. Rich Lovejoy in The Dark Heart of Meteorology (through Oct 14, 2009)

10. Print Space for developing, scanning and printing in NYC

On Photography

2009-09-22T08:13:00.000-07:00

Photo by Alec Soth

There's a great post on Colin Pantall's blog today about the significance of photography. It struck a cord with me because of the quote he pulled from an excellent interview with Alec Soth that I'd read earlier. "I also just think photography was much more interesting 50 plus years ago, and now there is just this overabundance of photography," Alec said. "It’s like saying 'What type of art do you do?' 'Oh, I do Twitter.' I just put these little fragments out in the world, but I would rather call myself a novelist than a Twitterist. And I sometimes feel photography is that."

I can't help agreeing with Soth in many respects. Pantall uses this quote as a launching point to discuss the catalysts for this degradation of what has always been controversial in its consideration as an art-form, but despite the oversaturation of photography that Soth so accurately points out, I can't help feeling, like Pantall, ultimately optimistic about photography and its future.

The moment one takes the time to venture out to view the walls of a gallery or a museum, to see an actual print, to see the subtleties of tone and texture and/or the sheer vastness of the print, all of which allude the viewer observing on a computer screen or a small commercial reproduction, is the moment you are confronted with impact photography can have. You only have to go to the Met (starting today) and view Robert Frank's THE AMERICANS for proof.

Catching Up

2009-08-12T13:40:00.000-07:00

I will start the way I seemingly always do: It’s been a while.

It shocks even me how long it’s been since I last wrote. A few things have happened in that time. I got back to New York and finished the job I was shooting in LA. Summer came to the city and with it, 28 days of rain.

I took my first official vacation in a year to visit my friend Mary Cuddehe in Mexico City. Marc came with me.

I got back to New York and Marc and I promptly moved into a new apartment in Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn. I love the neighborhood, particularly the amazing specialty mom and pop food shops for cheese, meat and bread that have been standing for decades. It’s encouraging in the face of perpetual gentrification and homogenization so prevalent in New York, of which I am admittedly a part.

Ciao Manhattan

Hello Brooklyn

I've been doing a lot of cooking in the new home and it's making me happy as pie. It helps that I'm simultaneously reading My Life in France, Julia Child's wonderful memoir. And with all the current Julie and Julia hype, I've been inspired to take cookbooks off the shelf and get to work. I have the smallest kitchen in the world with no prep space to speak of but I embrace it as a challenge in figuring out more efficient means of planning. I run it the way I do my productions: with lots of thought ahead of time. It has worked out well so far but I have yet to tackle really elaborate meals. I plan to, though.

Santa Monica, CA.

2009-04-17T19:08:00.001-07:00

Santa Monica, CA., originally uploaded by alexisstember.

If it's true that a picture is worth a thousand words, then I hope this will pass for a blog entry. I am out in LA prepping for a big shoot that starts on Wednesday. This keeps me from blogging because it's consuming my every waking moment but it's a wonderful job with a wonderful director and crew and it comes with a wonderful hotel room in Beverly Hills so I'm not complaining. I will post more pictures and the occasional word when I can.

An Important Message

2009-03-20T19:21:00.000-07:00

Despite the fact that I work for an advertising agency (and formerly, one of the Omnicom agencies in question), I have spent far more years working on the supplier side of the business as a producer, writer and director. With that in mind, I found the recent news pasted below quite disturbing. This excerpt is taken from Rob Haggart's excellent blog called A PHOTO EDITOR.

So, it appears that Omnicom Group doesn’t want to be responsible for paying vendors if the client hasn’t paid them. It certainly seems to be the trend these days where citizens are held responsible for corporations that can’t pay their bills but an advertising agency eliminating their traditional role as financier for advertising campaigns maybe signals an impending overhaul of the way business is conducted. It seems like some kind of insurance may be required to pull off a big budget shoot in the future.

Here’s the media alert ASMP sent out:

Omnicom Passes the Buck

It has been brought to the attention of the American Society of Media Photographers (ASMP) that the Omnicom Group, the world’s largest advertising agency holding company, has changed its terms and conditions in an effort to limit their agency liability and in so doing transfer that liability to independent photographers and producers. Basically, by disclosing their agency status and for whom they are acting, the advertising agency is only liable to the extent that their client has specifically paid them for any amounts payable to you. Additionally, ASMP has been informed that reps are being told that there will no longer be any advances on assignments.

These new policies are most probably the result of the market and governmental pressures experienced by major corporate clients such as GM who in their effort to avoid bankruptcy are now prioritizing their financial obligations and will make payment according to those priorities. In other words, some suppliers will be waiting significantly longer to be paid depending upon the client’s priorities. That being the case, agencies do not want to be left on the hook for reimbursement of monies expended on behalf of their clients, especially where the fear of bankruptcy exists.

These terms and conditions are simply not in the best interests of photographers, producers or clients. This action, clearly taken in anticipation of increasingly difficult financial conditions is a unilateral effort to shift the burden onto those who are least prepared to bear it. Should an independent photographer of moderate means be the banker for a Fortune 100 company? By eliminating their customary role as intermediate financier, agencies are removing value from the value-added chain, and that will ultimately lead to an overall dampening effect on commerce.

Meanwhile, there is no incentive for the agencies to make photographer friendly changes to their terms and conditions as long as photographers are willing to accept the current terms. Notice of these changes should be included in your blogs and discussed on related lists and social networking sites. The issue needs to become viral and requires significant support from key photographers in order to gain traction and effect change. If it is business as usual for the agencies, then nothing will be accomplished.

ASMP would recommend that photographers include in their paperwork a statement making it clear that there will be no grant of copyright license until all related assignment invoices are paid in full. Images should be registered with the Copyright Office immediately upon completion of the shoot and prior to first publication and/or possible infringement so that in the event that legal action - a last resort - is needed, recovery of statutory damages and court costs will be possible.

In addition, the Association of Independent Commercial Producers (AICP) recommends the following:

“If an agency’s internal policy insists upon these payment terms (sequential liability), the production company should:

a) Make sure the advertiser (“client”) also signs this agreement. If it is a rider, the terms of payment and the full contract price should be added to the rider.

b) Be provided with the advertiser billing and contact information.

c) Copy the advertiser on all invoices.

d) Notify the advertiser of payment due as soon as terms of the contract (payment dates) are not met by the agency.”

As a possible course of action, since the agencies are shifting liability to their corporate clients, perhaps photographers should consider approaching the clients directly for advances and or other payments prior to the beginning of the assignment.

Ultimately, this is a case of the supplier beware!

Eugene Mopsik

Executive Director, ASMP

mopsik@asmp.org

Shutter to Think

2009-03-20T09:50:00.001-07:00

I have been delving a bit deeper into photography lately during the rare and precious moments I have outside the office. I haven't ever fallen in love with a hobby to this extent before. I did not think it was possible. It consumes me, and yet it has always been there. I just never knew I had any interest in it.

Anyhow, I've started a new project that I am calling Traveling Without Moving. It's a series inspired by very short pieces of ambient sound captured around the world and married to photographs shot in a single room in Manhattan. It's a work in progress and I will be writing an artist statement and formalizing the project this weekend but for now, it's my little way of dreaming about travel again.

A Spartan Obsession, Uniformly Speaking

2009-03-09T04:47:00.001-07:00

One of the many things I’m not in the habit of doing is making New Year’s Resolutions. I have never in my 28 years resolved on December 31st to do something starting January 1st for the 365 days that followed. It’s not that I have anything against resolutions; I’ve just never been one to look that far down the road. That all changed on January 1st of 2009, though, when I resolved to definitively and measurably simplify my life....
Read more of my column at FORCES OF GEEK.

The Relative Nature of Recession

2009-03-05T08:28:00.000-08:00

I passed a bright, unblemished tomato on the side of the road today while walking to work. I didn't think much of it at first but then I stopped. I watched as numerous people passed by this perfect tomato and I thought to myself, "This is quite a society we live in."

Snow

2009-03-03T04:17:00.000-08:00

It's zero degrees out this morning. Yesterday was a snow day. March is the new February.

Your Support

2009-03-02T14:49:00.000-08:00

My friends Zachary Sluser and Jonathan Lynch, the talented people behind movies like The Retreat and music videos like Phosphorescent's A Picture Of Our Torn Up Praise are raising the last bit of funds for their new project. If you have a couple of bucks and see fit to support the arts and some very talented young folks, please read on.
Hi Everyone,

We're excited to let you all know that we’re preparing to shoot a new short film out here in LA this April. The film is called Path Lights and is an adaptation of a Tom Drury short story (published in The New Yorker 2006).

We’ve gathered a great team and will be shooting on the new RED HD camera (the closest thing to 35mm in the digital world thus far). The good news is that with this team and some favors we’ll have the same or better production quality as our last short films for just over half the budget. So far we’ve raised $8,000 from family, a few friends, and Jonathan and my own personal contributions. We are now reaching out to approximately 300 friends and associates (including you) to pull together the remaining $4000.

We know that things are tightening up for everyone financially these days, and we only want to humbly ask for whatever is comfortable to contribute. We are suggesting $10-20, the cost of one or two movie tickets. If everyone can do this we will have enough money to pull off the production. You may contribute more or less, these are only suggested amounts (the different categories for contribution are listed on the site).

If you can comfortably be a patron to our film just click on the link below which will take you to our page at fundable.com. There you can enter any debit, credit card, or paypal information (click on the paypal button or the debit/credit card icon). It is totally secure and will take less than 3 minutes. Your contribution will only be processed if we reach our goal of $4000 within 21 days, otherwise it will be credited back to your account.

http://www.fundable.com/groupactions/groupaction.2009-02-28.5984269419

We would like to thank you for all the support you have shown to our creative endeavors over the years. Your time, generosity, or emotional/financial support has allowed us to follow our dreams and pursue this challenging but rewarding career out here. Thanks again, and we’ll keep you posted on the progress of the film.

Best,
Zachary Sluser and Jonathan Lynch

SYNOPSIS
Path Lights, based on the short story by Tom Drury (published in the New Yorker in 2006), is a short film about the many forms of mystery, in art, in our imagination, and where the line of dreams and reality blend together. Bobby, our narrator, is the voice of pulpy detective serials on audio, as well as the automated answering service of a tree cutting company. One day, when walking his dogs in the Pasadena arroyo, a bottle falls from the sky, almost hitting him. Bobby decides, based on the obscure brand of beer, to trace down the culprit. As he goes about the self-acknowledged specious mission, he finds himself lost in thought about a current probe on Mars, how his detective alter-ego would go about the beer bottle case, and finds himself in the center of a much weirder tale than he originally imagined. Path Lights is a thought provoking, comedy-noir that puts a human spin on the tradition of detective hero films.

The Fall of Capitalism?

2009-02-26T12:34:00.001-08:00

I am not a communist. While I admire communism philosophically, it seems incompatible with the self-preserving nature of man, at least as far as history would show. Perhaps we're evolving? Perhaps not.

Karl Marx
"Owners of capital will stimulate the working class to buy more and more of expensive goods, houses and technology, pushing them to take more and more expensive credits, until their debt becomes unbearable. The unpaid debt will lead to bankruptcy of banks, which will have to be nationalised, and the State will have to take the road which will eventually lead to communism. ( Das Kapital , 1867)

thanks steve ;)

Fake Album Art!

2009-02-25T10:10:00.000-08:00

My friend Brandon York told me about Fake Album Art, an experiment where you collect a random band name, band photo and band title through generated links. I started a blog to collect the results because they're so terrific. Stop by and make some FAKE ALBUM ART of your own.

Flash Test

2009-02-24T05:12:00.000-08:00

I'm playing with a new toy, the Sigma DP1 compact camera. This is a flash test. I got my Canon 580EX to work on the hotshoe of the DP1 by putting tape over all pins in the hotshoe except for the center pin. Then I post-processed the result (added grain, vignetting and saturation). There's much to learn but it's a fun experiment so no complaints here. Will I be writing about the DP1 anytime soon for my column? There's a good chance a prosumer compact showdown (Lumix LX3 vs. Sigma DP1 vs. Canon G10) is in the works....

New Article at Forces of Geek

2009-02-23T09:27:00.000-08:00

The latest article of my column, ob·ses·sion: redefining unreasonable preoccupations, is posted.

Check it out: http://tinyurl.com/dfoxlj

THE IMPORTANCE OF NARRATIVE

Over the past month, I’ve been thinking a lot about what to write. While a number of things came to mind, an article in December’s New York Times piqued my interest. The article, titled Between Obama and the Press, profiled White House Press Secretary (and former communications director for the Obama campaign) Robert Gibbs. Mark Leibovich, the author of the piece, asked Gibbs about the accuracy of frequent accusations that Obama got a free pass from the press during his campaign, while his opponents did not. As one would expect, Gibbs denied the charge saying that good campaigns like Obama’s garnered deservingly good press, while bad campaigns didn't. “We had a narrative that was probably better,” he said.

Kissing Strange Update

2009-02-18T06:56:00.000-08:00

Kissing my man with the lens of my camera for Valentine's Day in Vermont.

“I'm late, I'm late, For a very important date. No time to say ‘Hello.’ Goodbye! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!”....

Will Obama Bring Back the WPA?

2009-02-17T11:26:00.000-08:00

Photo by Dorothea Lange

This is the first time I've seen someone write about the thing I've been thinking about for months now. Will Obama Bring Back the WPA?

ob·ses·sion: redefining unreasonable preoccupations

2009-02-08T12:14:00.000-08:00

I have just become a contributing writer for Forces of Geek. I write a monthly column called ob·ses·sion: redefining unreasonable preoccupations. Here is the start of my first article. Link to read more, see pretty pictures and subscribe!

This is a column about unreasonable preoccupations, a column about the minuet details that, momentarily or eternally, manage to seduce my mind with the call of their siren song. A man once said, “I know quite certainly that I myself have no special talent; curiosity, obsession and dogged endurance, combined with self-criticism, have brought me to my ideas.” That has been my excuse, my justification for my tendencies in life. It’s the answer I give when my family or boyfriend asks what I’m doing or why I haven’t slept in days. The more accurate response might be, “Well, dear family member/boyfriend, I have been reading about ISO, which used to be called ASA, which was short for American Standards Association, an association that rated the speed of film with a number such as ASA 50 or ASA 400, but now that we’re a more global community, ASA has fallen out of favor for the more universal ISO (International Standards Organization) rating, but they are in fact essentially the same, in as much as ASA 50 is equal to ISO 50, so it’s really just semantics, but those semantics have kept me up for precisely 72 hours, and now I need more coffee.” Instead, however, I resort to quoting the concise statement above because I figure it will more effectively communicate my point. Those words were good enough for the man who said them, (Albert Einstein), and I figure they'll do just fine for me.
READ MORE...

Political Ice Cream

2009-02-06T06:53:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning, turned on my Blackberry and this was the first thing I read, thanks to my friend Christopher. I already like this day.

Ben & Jerry’s created the “Yes Pecan!” ice cream flavor for Barack Obama. For George W. Bush, they asked for suggestions from the public. Here are some of their favorite responses:

- Grape Depression
- The Housing Crunch
- Abu Grape
- Cluster Fudge
- Nut’n Accomplished
- Good Riddance You Lousy Mother*u¢ker. .. Swirl
- Iraqi Road
- Chock ‘n Awe
- WireTapioca
- Impeach Cobbler
- Guantanmallow
- imPeachmint
- Heck of a Job, Brownie!
- Neocon Politan
- Rocky Road to Fascism
- The Reese’s-cession
- Cookie D’oh!
- Nougalar Proliferation
- Death by Chocolate… and Torture
- Freedom Vanilla Ice Cream
- Chocolate Chip On My Shoulder
- Credit Crunch
- Mission Pecanplished
- Country Pumpkin
- Chunky Monkey in Chief
- George Bush Doesn’t Care About Dark Chocolate
- WMDelicious
- Chocolate Chimp
- Bloody Sundae
- Caramel Preemptive Stripe
- I broke the law and am responsible for the deaths of thousands...with nuts

Kissing Strange Update

2009-02-02T11:24:00.000-08:00

Become a fan on Facebook!

Snow Day

2009-01-28T10:08:00.000-08:00

Photo by Cig Harvey

New posts over at Kissing Strange!

"It is Wednesday, 7:59am, and I am sitting at my desk in my apartment, thankful for the moment I have here before the day hoists itself upon me with the weight of wet clothes."

More.

Kissing Strange

2009-01-25T13:54:00.001-08:00

Myself and J Caldwell have created a new project called Kissing Strange, a series of photographs in which all subjects are strangers to each other and are kissing. There's a whole lot more to the story that you can read on our blog, which is now up. Stop by and take a peek as we amass our collection at Kissing Strange.

Animal Collective at the Bowery Ballroom

2009-01-22T14:27:00.001-08:00

I went to the Bowery Ballroom last night and saw my first live Animal Collective show. My friend DJ Dr. J has been a long time fan, frequently trying to convince me of their greatness. I was never much of a convert but after last night's show, I can officially say I have new found love and respect. I will be buying tickets for their May 13th show when they go on sale at noon today. Click the photo above to see more.

UPDATE (1/23): The absolutely awesome and generous Dan Lynch of NYC Taper put up Flac and MP3 files of the Bowery show and, as he says, "...We are confident in declaring is the best unofficial live recording of Animal Collective that you will ever hear." Oh, and tix for 5/13 show sold out before I could even sign onto my browser. I still think I caught the best show yet. :)

After a Day of Crowds and Celebration

2009-01-21T11:10:00.001-08:00

After a Day of Crowds and Celebration, Obama Turns to Sobering Challenges. So said the New York Times today, and right they are. Nothing, however was both as sobering and elating as the image that accompanied the story: Obama at his desk as a now official occupant of the Oval Office. Seeing hope materialize in such a concrete form fills me with tearful joy. Let the new term begin.

January 20, 2009

2009-01-20T18:15:00.001-08:00

January 20, 2009, originally uploaded by alexisstember.

We all watched, we all cried, as Barack Hussein Obama took his oath of office today and proceeded to give his inaugural address. The prepared text of that speech follows:

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land - a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America - they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions - that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed - why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world...that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

The First Official Presidential Portrait

2009-01-20T05:23:00.000-08:00

Here it is- the new official presidential portrait, take by White House photographer Pete Souza. It is the first official portrait to ever have been taken with a digital camera, the Canon 5D Mark II. Souza has come out with a book of photographs called "The Rise of Barack Obama " and you can see some of the pics here, on his website: http://www.petesouza.com/gallery.html?gallery=The%20Rise%20of%20Barack%20Obama
God Bless America.

Happy MLK Day from a Winter Wonderland!

2009-01-19T15:52:00.001-08:00

Winter Wonderland, originally uploaded by alexisstember.

Marc Mosteirin Interview: When I Grow Up

2009-01-18T20:34:00.000-08:00

An interview conducted for a work in progress, the photography book tentatively titled WHEN I GROW U, which looks at the relationship between profession and identity. All music in this audio piece are from songs created by Marc Mosteirin prior to the interview.

Marc Mosteirin Interview: When I Grow Up - Alexis Stember

The Hungry Scientist Handbook

2008-12-11T05:34:00.000-08:00

Anyone who has ever been stuck for the perfect Christmas present that will please people across the board have just stumbled upon the answer they were looking for. It is a book and it is called The Hungry Scientist Handbook. It is an astonishingly awesome collection of recipes that will delight any and everyone; those who it fails to delight are likely people unworthy of being bought such a lovely gift. Is this a shameless plug for a friend's creation? Yes and no. Yes, it is a plug for a friend's creation, but no, it's not shameless; I would never plug anything I didn't genuinely believe deserved it, so go out and buy the book now. You'll be glad you did. And listen to the authors talk about the book on NPR. Go Lily!!!

Quiet American

2008-12-08T21:19:00.001-08:00

I was speaking with my father about sound and music today and felt compelled to recommend a site, or a couple of sites, that I find really wonderful for anyone interested in nature as music and sound as art. The first site that comes to mind is Quiet American. As stated on the website,"Quiet American is the manipulation of sounds I hear and record.... My goal with Quiet American is to sketch in sound the experience of being in an unfamiliar place." I particularly like the one-minute vacations you can download from the site. It's a wonderful way to momentarily escape the realities we face everyday with a lack of freshness or perspective.

A few other sites I love and recommend.:
FreeSound Project: Community of Sound Gatherers
Re:Sound: Stories and Experimental Sound Art
Transom.Org: Site Full of Interviews, Equipment Reviews, Etc.
Public Radio Exchange: Fairly Self Explanatory
Story Corps: Oral History Site

A Ruby Rivers Christmas

2008-12-02T17:24:00.000-08:00

We're having a Christmas show on Friday, everyone!!! Come get robbed and beat up by girls in red dresses!!! Just another ordinary night with RUBY RIVERS!!!

On Being Blue: A Philosophical Inquiry

2008-12-02T06:10:00.000-08:00

Marc Mosteirin left a musical sketch on my computer that I put words to one random afternoon. The words are from the opening paragraph of William Gass's meditation on the color blue in the book of the same name. If you're not looped now, hopefully you will be after listening.

http://ia311231.us.archive.org/1/items/OnBeingBlueAPhilosophicalInquiry_434/Blue.m4a

On Being Blue: A Philosophical Inquiry by William Gass
Blue pencils, blue noses, blue movies, laws, blue legs and stocking, the language of birds, bees and flowers as sung by longshoremen, that lead-like look the skin has when effected by cold, contusion, sickness and fear; the rotten rum or gin they call blue ruin and the blue devils of its delirium; Russian cats and oysters, a withheld or imprisoned breath, the blue they say that diamonds have, deep holes in the ocean and the blazers that English athletes earn that gentlemen may wear; afflictions of the spirit- dumps, mopes, Mondays- all that's dismal- low-down gloomy music, Nova Scotians, cyanosis, hair rinse, bluing, bleach; the rare blue dahlia like that blue moon shrewd things happen only once in, or the call for trumps in whist (but who remembers whist or what the death of unplayed games is like?), and correspondingly the flag, Blue Peter, which is our signal for getting under way; a swift pitch, Confederate money, the shaded slopes of clouds and mountains, and so the constantly increasing absentness of Heaven (ins Blaue hinein, the Germans say)....

There is only you and your camera.

2008-11-30T18:19:00.001-08:00

Broome Street Nights, originally uploaded by alexisstember.

“There is only you and your camera. The limitations in your photography are in yourself, for what we see is what we are.”
-Ernst Haas

I've started uploading pictures to my Flickr site. I'm just getting back into photography so this may be slow going but there are a few things to look at now. Unfortunately, Blogger is in the habit of brutally cropping photos but you'll be appropriately redirected if you click the image above.

President Elect Barack Obama

2008-11-06T10:56:00.000-08:00

Watching Obama give his acceptance speech at Rockefeller Plaza on November 4, 2008, the greatest night for America in modern history.

Ruby Rivers Live

2008-10-31T09:17:00.000-07:00

A clip from our last show at Rockwood. I sing backup (far left).

Hope, America.

2008-10-18T17:56:00.000-07:00

Hope: a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. That's the definition. Thomas Fuller said, “If it were not for hopes, the heart would break.” At a time of economic crisis, war and a diminished standing in the world, hope seems to be the thing America longs for most, even more so than it does for familiarity, for apple pie.

Hope: a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope appears most present, ironically, when things seem most hopeless. The Hope Survivors Foundation, for instance, which gives assistance to those impacted and/or traumatized by the Rwandan genocide, was born out of a great, looming tragedy. The Cancer Hope Foundation, which offers a cost-free camp retreat for adult cancer patients and their friends and families, was born out of one grieving individual’s loss of a close friend.

Hope: a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life.

About 41,650 females in America are named Hope. At least that number of people, then, must have felt hopeful about the future through their child at one time or another. In the film W, the character of Vice President Dick Cheney asks the character of President George Bush, Jr. a question of probability. The question, and I write this loosely from memory, was “Would you eat that piece of lettuce if there was a 1% chance that it could kill you?” Bush’s answer, no, is used to illustrate that the fact fear eliminates peoples willingness to risk, to hope.

Hope: a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Some call hope an audacious thing, and in the America of today with its economic crisis, its wars and its diminished standing in the world, it most certainly is. Hope today requires a willingness to risk, to believe, to have faith- but what is more American than that? Hope IS America; without it, our country would not exist.

Hope: a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. It's what caused people to leave the familiar behind and sail from Europe to Plymouth in 1620. It's what drives people to cross fenced-off borders and risk their lives to be part of this country today. It is the thing that will drive thousands of voters who haven’t voted in twenty years to booths on November 4th, where they’ll be joined by thousands of other voters who have never voted in their lives.

Hope: a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. During his 2004 keynote address at the Democratic National Convention, a little-known senator from Illinois said, “In the end, that's what this election is about. Do we participate in a politics of cynicism, or do we participate in a politics of hope?” On November 4th, America will decide once again.

PA for Obama

2008-10-06T06:12:00.000-07:00

Obama HQ.
Anne, Arianne and me with our field operators.

Canvassing with friends Anne Carlisle and Arianne Culley on October 5, 2008, the second to last day for voter registration in Ambler, Pennsylvania.
CANVASSING FOR OBAMA: AN AUDIO ACCOUNT.
The media player won't embed so try the link above.

Premiere of the Play "This is Way Beyond My Remote Control"

2008-10-05T16:19:00.001-07:00

My dear and talented friend Megan Bienstock is premiering her new play called THIS IS WAY BEYOND MY REMOTE CONTROL as part of the festival she's created called Abandoned Stillness. It's a wonderful project and her play is a haunting piece of work. I hope you can make it.

"Abandoned Stillness" is a bi-annual festival blending different art forms and media into one evening.
featuring the debut of the play, "This is Way Beyond My Remote Control", written by Megan Bienstock,
Directed by Mahayana Landowne.

"This is Way Beyond My Remote Control", is a vivid and adventurous theatrical work,
that is a moving exploration of love, loss, and what remains; All entangled in a collision
of memories and reality.
The play's mixture of visual allure, and emotional clarity; grants us access to the actual experience of letting go of love.

The evening also presents two mind expansive animated short films by the animator/ Graffiti artist Sam 3
His work is sometimes ironic, other times poetic, but constantly thought provoking.
Sam 3's films explore the idea that there is no beginning or end, only a constant shape shifting continuous existence.

An Open Letter

2008-09-30T07:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,
I apologize in advance for sending a letter that is political in nature. I will state up front that I am an Obama supporter but if you are not, I hope we're "still cool," as the kids would say. In all seriousness, it breaks my heart to see divisiveness tearing our country apart and I hope you will accept my invitation for a drink to discuss your viewpoint because I like nothing more than to be encouraged by those on the other side that things in this country will be okay if Obama doesn't win. That said, this note may not resonate with you because it presumes that you are pulling for the old donkey, so again, I apologize. And please, don't forget to call and schedule that drink with me.

I just wanted to share something about my weekend. I went to Scranton, Pennsylvania to canvass for the Obama campaign on Sunday and got to speak with people there about their concerns and thoughts regarding the upcoming election. Doing so made me realize how far we Democrats still have to go to win this election. The two things I heard most often from door to door were: "I don't really care about the election," and "Obama's going raise my taxes." Old, young, male, female- these were things I heard across the board, and the worst part was, each person I spoke to was a registered Democrat.

Sad as that made me, I did have moments of great elation when, for instance, I explained to a middle-aged woman concerned about her health and taxes that Obama's health care plan would provide her with affordable coverage made universally available, but would not take away her right to remain with her current provider. McCain's plan, however, would continue to deregulate health care (and we know how well deregulation is working for our economy) and begin to tax her on the heathcare benefits her employer provides. And as for Obama raising taxes? Not true. He would, in fact, cut taxes for 95% of Americans, positively effecting the middle class, which Obama considers to be those making less than $250,000/year, unlike McCain, who considers those making $5 million or less/year to be middle class. "Really?" she said. "I didn't know that."

There is so much misinformation and/or apathy out there and we are only days away from registration deadlines and the start of early voting in many states. One, if not the most important of the states, Pennsylvania, is only one-hundred odd miles from NY and many people close to the Obama camp say it is essential that he carry that state if he is to reach the White House.

I know not everyone can sacrifice their weekend to drive up and go door to door but there are so many other ways to get involved, and PA is certainly not the only state that needs our attention. Many of you, like me, are from Iowa, another swing state that needs our efforts to turn it solid blue. Your vote will count a lot more there than it will in New York and it's not too late to register as an absentee. If you go to www.voteforchange.com, you can get information on registering in your state and/or check on your current registration status in minutes.

Checking your registration status is key in this election because regardless of whether you've already registered, you may be surprised to learn that your registration may have mysteriously vanished from the record. This, I discovered, just happened to me and it also happened to a friend in Georgia, who was lucky enough to get a notice that he had been 'purged' from the record, which he promptly corrected.

I CAN NOT EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE CHECK YOUR REGISTRATION STATUS.
Despite the fact that you may have registered, many people have been inexplicably purged from the record and that their vote will not count unless they re-register. Checking your status can be done easily at www.voteforchange.com, as I said.

Again, I apologize for inundating everyone with my personal politics but my feeling is that, come November 4, if I have not done everything I possibly can to put the person I believe is best for my country in power, than I really have no say regarding the state of the nation come November 5.

I hope you all have a wonderful night and for those of you celebrating Rosh Hashanah, l'shana tova!

Best,
Alexis Stember

PS- I plan to canvass and/or make calls every weekend from now until election day so if anyone wants to join me or wants help getting involved, let me know. And to those intimidated by the idea of canvassing or making calls due to a sense of feeling not deeply enough informed, I promise, no one expects you to be a policy expert and the interactions you have with people will often be far more brief than you might expect. And no, people are usually not screaming prats, even when they're opposed to your point of view. They're often quite nice and you truly have nothing to fear.

PPS- I made this little video tonight from the PA trip. Very short, but hopefully sweet.

Hello from Pennsylvania from Alexis Stember on Vimeo.

MOL in Lima, Peru

2008-07-28T16:49:00.000-07:00

I was flipping through the channels the other day and in a serendipitous moment that I wouldn't have believed if I'd seen it in a movie, I happened upon my directorial debut on WLIW (sort of. I directed this last year, but I never saw it air), which I then looked up and found online so with no further ado, here is the episode of Moment of Luxury I wrote, produced and directed.

Checking In

2008-07-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

It's been nearly a month since I wrote anything on here. In that time, I have done quite a few things: I accepted a full time job producing at an ad agency, I started renovating my apartment, I shed winter for summer, I saw Bon Jovi in Central Park, I went out and bought a filing cabinet, an HD camcorder, a food processor and a yogurt maker, I started cooking again and started thinking a bit more about the future.
In other words, I got old.

I like being old, at least for the time being. I still interact with the hustle and bustle around me but I've become quieter and more domestic generally speaking. Maybe it's just a phase but while I'm going through it, forgive me for being a neglectful writer/documentarian/etc. Maybe this calm will afford me the patience to create something more significant than a blog post- a book, perhaps? Or a film? We'll see.

In the meantime, I have changed my video streaming allegiance from YouTube to Vimeo for its far superior quality. You can find the link to my new page under my profile. Here is my first posted video. It's a totally unfair tease because it actually says and does next to nothing; I just really wanted to see what HD would look like online. I'm still messing with the compression and export options, but despite not having nailed the settings, I still think it's pretty impressive. The camera itself (Canon's HV-30) is phenomenal. I absolutely love and highly recommend it.

Hello From NYC (Diary Series)- July 17, 2008 from Alexis Stember on Vimeo.

Up All Night With Amy Winehouse

2008-06-26T13:23:00.000-07:00

Friend and fellow Fairfieldian Claire Hoffman has written a brilliant and disturbing piece on Amy Winehouse for Rolling Stone this month. Give it a read.
(Photo of Amy Winehouse inviting Claire into her flat.)

Technology

2008-06-25T07:27:00.000-07:00

Sorry Apple fans, but Blackberry kicks Mac's ass in the latest round of Smartphone wars. I am, however, relatively devastated that Blackberry appears to be pushing the launch of the Bold from July to August. Sob. In the meantime, I guess I'll have to scratch my itch for technology by coveting the Amazon Kindle (been lasciviously ogling it for some time now but still on the fence about getting it) and the Canon Vixia HV30 camcorder (for personal use).
A girl can dream.

Are You Ready?

2008-06-24T06:55:00.000-07:00

Then let's change the world.

Nothing Says I Love You Like Someone Elses Words

2008-06-19T05:22:00.000-07:00

Remember when you were a kid and you had a crush on that boy (or girl) who sat two rows away in your English class and ate glue while the teacher read a Roald Dahl book to the rest of the class? You used to stare longingly at him until you finally took action, sneaking a box of sweethearts marked "From Your Secret Admirer" into his desk and waited for him to find it. You anxiously wondered if he would figure out who it was from, until you realized that every girl in your class had done the same thing, those bitches!

Wait- what was I saying? Oh yes, love and crushes.
The point I was trying to make is that I don't think we really ever grow up, but rather than sending that anonymously marked box of sweethearts, may I suggest a mix tape? You know, mix tape, like the ones you used to record on actual tape cassettes and embellish with hand drawn art that would list the songs that said all the things you, as a teenager, couldn't say yourself without being, like, 'totally uncool'?

If you still have those old mix tapes, by the way, be sure to add them to the online collection at Cassette From My Ex, a fun site I mentioned in an earlier post. If you don't have your old mix tapes, create a new digital one at Muxtape, or steal the one I recently updated and send it to your sweetheart with the words 'up all night,' and 'blood, sweat and tears' mixed into the accompanying note that explains how hard you worked on it.

The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination

2008-06-17T03:52:00.000-07:00

JK Rowling gave a touching and lovely commencement speech at Harvard earlier this month. Clips and transcript below:

Copyright of JK Rowling, June 2008

President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, proud parents, and, above all, graduates.

The first thing I would like to say is ‘thank you.’ Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honour, but the weeks of fear and nausea I’ve experienced at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and fool myself into believing I am at the world’s best-educated Harry Potter convention.

Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can’t remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influence you to abandon promising careers in business, law or politics for the giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard.

You see? If all you remember in years to come is the ‘gay wizard’ joke, I’ve still come out ahead of Baroness Mary Warnock. Achievable goals: the first step towards personal improvement.

Actually, I have wracked my mind and heart for what I ought to say to you today. I have asked myself what I wish I had known at my own graduation, and what important lessons I have learned in the 21 years that has expired between that day and this.

I have come up with two answers. On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. And as you stand on the threshold of what is sometimes called ‘real life’, I want to extol the crucial importance of imagination.

These might seem quixotic or paradoxical choices, but please bear with me.

Looking back at the 21-year-old that I was at graduation, is a slightly uncomfortable experience for the 42-year-old that she has become. Half my lifetime ago, I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself, and what those closest to me expected of me.

I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do, ever, was to write novels. However, my parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing personal quirk that could never pay a mortgage, or secure a pension.

They had hoped that I would take a vocational degree; I wanted to study English Literature. A compromise was reached that in retrospect satisfied nobody, and I went up to study Modern Languages. Hardly had my parents’ car rounded the corner at the end of the road than I ditched German and scuttled off down the Classics corridor.

I cannot remember telling my parents that I was studying Classics; they might well have found out for the first time on graduation day. Of all subjects on this planet, I think they would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology when it came to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.

I would like to make it clear, in parenthesis, that I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. What is more, I cannot criticise my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticised only by fools.

What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure.

At your age, in spite of a distinct lack of motivation at university, where I had spent far too long in the coffee bar writing stories, and far too little time at lectures, I had a knack for passing examinations, and that, for years, had been the measure of success in my life and that of my peers.

I am not dull enough to suppose that because you are young, gifted and well-educated, you have never known hardship or heartbreak. Talent and intelligence never yet inoculated anyone against the caprice of the Fates, and I do not for a moment suppose that everyone here has enjoyed an existence of unruffled privilege and contentment.

However, the fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure. You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person’s idea of success, so high have you already flown academically.

Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.

Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had already been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more to me than any qualification I ever earned.

Given a time machine or a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone’s total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.

You might think that I chose my second theme, the importance of imagination, because of the part it played in rebuilding my life, but that is not wholly so. Though I will defend the value of bedtime stories to my last gasp, I have learned to value imagination in a much broader sense. Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathise with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

One of the greatest formative experiences of my life preceded Harry Potter, though it informed much of what I subsequently wrote in those books. This revelation came in the form of one of my earliest day jobs. Though I was sloping off to write stories during my lunch hours, I paid the rent in my early 20s by working in the research department at Amnesty International’s headquarters in London.

There in my little office I read hastily scribbled letters smuggled out of totalitarian regimes by men and women who were risking imprisonment to inform the outside world of what was happening to them. I saw photographs of those who had disappeared without trace, sent to Amnesty by their desperate families and friends. I read the testimony of torture victims and saw pictures of their injuries. I opened handwritten, eye-witness accounts of summary trials and executions, of kidnappings and rapes.

Many of my co-workers were ex-political prisoners, people who had been displaced from their homes, or fled into exile, because they had the temerity to think independently of their government. Visitors to our office included those who had come to give information, or to try and find out what had happened to those they had been forced to leave behind.

I shall never forget the African torture victim, a young man no older than I was at the time, who had become mentally ill after all he had endured in his homeland. He trembled uncontrollably as he spoke into a video camera about the brutality inflicted upon him. He was a foot taller than I was, and seemed as fragile as a child. I was given the job of escorting him to the Underground Station afterwards, and this man whose life had been shattered by cruelty took my hand with exquisite courtesy, and wished me future happiness.

And as long as I live I shall remember walking along an empty corridor and suddenly hearing, from behind a closed door, a scream of pain and horror such as I have never heard since. The door opened, and the researcher poked out her head and told me to run and make a hot drink for the young man sitting with her. She had just given him the news that in retaliation for his own outspokenness against his country’s regime, his mother had been seized and executed.

Every day of my working week in my early 20s I was reminded how incredibly fortunate I was, to live in a country with a democratically elected government, where legal representation and a public trial were the rights of everyone.

Every day, I saw more evidence about the evils humankind will inflict on their fellow humans, to gain or maintain power. I began to have nightmares, literal nightmares, about some of the things I saw, heard and read.

And yet I also learned more about human goodness at Amnesty International than I had ever known before.

Amnesty mobilises thousands of people who have never been tortured or imprisoned for their beliefs to act on behalf of those who have. The power of human empathy, leading to collective action, saves lives, and frees prisoners. Ordinary people, whose personal well-being and security are assured, join together in huge numbers to save people they do not know, and will never meet. My small participation in that process was one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.

Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people’s minds, imagine themselves into other people’s places.

Of course, this is a power, like my brand of fictional magic, that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathise.

And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.

I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces can lead to a form of mental agoraphobia, and that brings its own terrors. I think the wilfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.

What is more, those who choose not to empathise may enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy.

One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people’s lives simply by existing.

But how much more are you, Harvard graduates of 2008, likely to touch other people’s lives? Your intelligence, your capacity for hard work, the education you have earned and received, give you unique status, and unique responsibilities. Even your nationality sets you apart. The great majority of you belong to the world’s only remaining superpower. The way you vote, the way you live, the way you protest, the pressure you bring to bear on your government, has an impact way beyond your borders. That is your privilege, and your burden.

If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped transform for the better. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

I am nearly finished. I have one last hope for you, which is something that I already had at 21. The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children’s godparents, the people to whom I’ve been able to turn in times of trouble, friends who have been kind enough not to sue me when I’ve used their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.

So today, I can wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the Classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom:
As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.
I wish you all very good lives.
Thank you very much.

Yes We Can

2008-06-12T13:33:00.001-07:00

Obama's campaign makes the wise decision to counter false accusations by way of a website dedicated to such a purpose. This is yet another brilliant tactical move that further exemplifies how and why Obama is a smart, effective and conscientious candidate who understands the zeitgeist of our country and respects the intelligence of our populous enough to recognize that, given the choice, we will seek to educate ourselves on the truth and take part in the political and social discourse occurring in America. Yes, we care, and yes, we can.

I'm Voting Republican

2008-06-12T10:13:00.001-07:00

This is funny. Please don't get your panties in a twist if you find this satire a bit too one-sided or black and white.

Rising Sand in New Yorkland

2008-06-12T08:55:00.000-07:00

I'm so happy today, I don't know where to begin. I guess I'll start by mentioning the source of my current blissful state. Aside from the weather, which is truly momentous, and my friends, who are even more exceptional, aside from all of that, I am encountering the effects of the Robert Plant and Alison Krauss pill I took last night, a pill that is fast acting but administered through a time release capsule that keeps on giving, long after the show has ended.
Watching the final night of the New York leg of the Rising Sand tour, I was struck by what I perceived as something- a quality, a feeling, I didn't know what- something in the aural-visual experience of what was in front of me that struck me as unique comparative to the other shows I've seen over the years. It only took me a moment to realize what it was; it was an awe and comfort in knowing on a visceral level that I was watching people who didn't just perform music but actually lived and breathed it, not because they loved it but because it was the only way they knew how to operate. It was like watching an isolated world of perfection (particularly the acappella rendition of Down in the River to Pray) in an impossibly imperfect world, and it left me feeling momentarily released from my corporeal reality. I think it's rare moments like these that are the reason music and art exist, and holy (insert the name of something holy), am I grateful for them.
Music is an unquestionable passion of mine and though I've never considered it as a career for myself, I would go mental if I didn't get to play or sing with friends and family. In a happy twist of fate, I recently and serendipitously fell in with a group of musician friends who were looking for a singer. I tried out for them and they liked what they heard so we have started recording a couple tracks to see if the chemistry continues. If all goes well, I'll hopefully be able to blog about our own gigs and an upcoming album (everything is pretty much lined up- they've just been looking for the right vocalist), and soon be posting "Gone, Gone, Gone," the first track I recorded with the band that just happens to share the title of the song Alison Krauss and Robert Plant so generously closed last night's show with.

On a final note, I will be singing with Crystal Ponzio at 7pm on Friday, the 20th of June, at Rockwood Music Hall, and then again at the Living Room in August. Come say hi.

"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."
-Aldous Huxley

The Summer of Music Continues....

2008-06-11T09:16:00.001-07:00

Last night, Marc and I headed out to Union Hall to see the bands Adem and Wildbirds & P eacedrums play an 8pm show. This was a rare treat because it's not everyday that Marc can go to shows on weeknights, given that he has to be up uber-early for work. Tickets were no longer available online by the time we decided to go so we showed up to Union Hall early, had a drink, talked about religion and relationships and how/ if they differ, in as much as they both fill a void (though pro-relationship, Marc is vehemently anti-religion. I am more likely to hold the individual responsible more than the institution in both relationships and religions).

Around 9pm, we wandered downstairs, where the show was just starting. Unbeknownst to us, there was an opening act for Adem and W&P, and her name was Sharon Van Etten. We settled onto the concrete floor and listened. Her voice was a sorrowful, heartfelt quiver that sounded like a layer of sawdust that, when momentarily blown away in the crescendos of her songs, revealed her obviously strong foundations of self-awareness and conviction. Her voice was wonderfully complimented by her simple, soulful song structures and guitar strumming.

The song You Didn't was among my favorites, though quite a few of them ranked in the Highly Listenable category. (Click to download Damn Right).

By the time she wrapped, it was nearly 10pm, time for us to head home. Alas, we ended up seeing neither Adem or Wildbirds & Peacedrums, but I think we might have seen one of the best parts of the night regardless.

Next up, Robert Plant and Alison Krauss. Very excited. That show would be tonight and I'll be sure to say a word or two about in the coming days.

A Smattering of Things

2008-06-10T10:20:00.000-07:00

As I earlier blogged, I planned on going to the Living Room to see the Tallest Man on Earth last night. I made good on my word. Perhaps it was the intimate setting or the attentiveness of the audience but for whatever the reason, what I was saw, just singer/songwriter Kristian Matsson and his guitar on stage, felt significant and magical. I hope the Tallest Man gets to keep on electrifying people across the country the way he did me.

For those who do not know who he is, I highly recommend giving him a listen. You can read about him at the following LINK, as well as hear some of his tracks at the bottom of the page.

After the show, Megan and I went for a drink at the Lobby Bar in the Bowery Hotel. After much hype, we wanted to see what the place was all about. I have to say, they've done a very nice job creating the feel of an antique personal library in the space. Apparently, the bar has been criticized for stepping too closely on the heels of Ian Schrager's Gramercy Park Hotel bar, Rose Bar, but seriously, the Lobby Bar is nice, so who cares?

And as for those accusations that the Lobby Bar and Rose Bar are too much alike, I frankly disagree.
Rose Bar
Lobby Bar
The Rose Bar is a deliberately and overtly stylized space that feels modern and contemporary. Its high ceiling and large central light fixture feels like a updated take on Spanish colonial decor while the black and white tiled floors are an homage to classic art deco New York. The Lobby Bar, on the other hand, is warmer and more organic with its spatial nooks and crannies, its Persian rugs and its worn leather armchairs, all of which communicate "room in an old English home" rather than "room in a famous designer's apartment".

After drinks, I wandered down the street on my way home and bumped into Nick Nace, who I've vaguely known for a little while, outside the Bowery Poetry Club. We chatted (and saw Robert Plant!!!) and I ended up stepping inside for a drink and to watch a bit of the always entertaining O'Debra Twins "Show & Tell" Open Mic.
The house band for the show is A Brief View of the Hudson, which is comprised of Nick Nace and Ann Enzminger (I believe there is a third member as well, though I could be wrong). This is probably one of those things you're not supposed to admit but when I've seen this band in the past, it's fair to say that I was distracted, either by conversation or by company, and it wasn't until last night that I think really I heard them for the first time, which is a shame because they were great. Check them out for yourself at the Bowery next Monday.
Speaking of the Bowery Poetry Club, gifted poet Rena Mosteirin, who won this year's Kore Press Short Fiction award, used to read there when she still lived in New York (she's in Chicago now). In my blog post from yesterday, I linked her brother Marc's name to a poem of hers that was built out of two years of his emails. Today, I've decided to post the actual poem (below).

I post this poem because I happen to love it. You could say I love it because I know the people it's about, or because it's from the point of view of someone I adore, but I think it goes beyond all that. I think it's just a damn fine piece of work.
I'm also posting what I find funny but what might not be of interest to anyone else. It is the Sit On My Face (Know the Difference) Mix, which is, in the words of Dr. J, "songs sung or discussed during mah recent trip to NYC, turned into a little half hour micromix." The title is derived from one of the best comments I've ever received on the streets of New York. It happened while walking from the LES with J and Chris to go to the Big Apple BBQ. A group of guys hollered in our direction, "Hey baby! Yo, girl! Sit on his face and sit on mine and you know the difference!" The tracks involved sound a little something like this:

1. Hot Fun In The Summertime - Sly & The Family Stone

2. The Spirit of Radio - Rush

3. 99 Luftballoons - Nina Hagen

4. Changin' My Change - Alex Battles & The Whisky Rebellion

5. Snakes Say Hisss! - Rubber Band Man (rmx)

6. Lil Mama - Lip Gloss

7. Power Station - Some Like It Hot

8. Richard Marx - Right Here Waiting

And with that, I leave you.
Stay hot out there, NY.

at least you don't scream for buttermilk every day like G-man
by Rena Mosteirin

(roughly 2 years of e-mails written by Marc Mosteirin woven together to make a poem)

Last night I got ass-high out in the front with Rummy
and then watched Wu-Tang Invasion on the laptop.
I was standing under the tree and the cat got onto
the branch right over my head and started attacking.
That's the most enjoyment I’ve gotten out of that creature in years.
The flowers on the tree are really nice. An old European
man stopped yesterday to admire them. He didn't
speak any English but managed to explain to me anyhow that
he was impotent and could no longer have sex- mostly
using hand gestures. I'm contemptuously pessimistic regarding Lauren
and females in general. Must go for my daily walk now.
I somewhat enjoy those, at least it's gorgeous out.
I feel like the entire house is a cathode ray worship temple.
at any given time, at least one bright
blue inferno is slow-roasting the family soul.
At least you don't scream for buttermilk every day like G-man.
When I was a freshman in college I used to go to the dining hall and fill
up a glass 25% with Hershey's goo and the rest with milk. Suck it down
like there was no tomorrow. I don't know why I bothered
adding the milk. Ray got rejected from the American Express job
he's been trying to get for months so it's back to weed for him.
The cityscape is not exciting me as much as it used to lately. I think
my ocean of appreciation has been polluted
by the feeling that it's not ok to be economically idle anymore.
Saw the dentist today - old guy with a white fro.
Asked if I played soccer - i said no.
Said my teeth looked smashed-in. i said oh.
All this after talking to me about god and children and mouth biology
for one straight hour (there were polish ladies in the waiting room,
loudly turning magazine pages). He wanted to drill
my teeth down cause they're jagged. I refused
the procedure on the grounds that I get enough natural grinding.
I go to Benninger park and do pull-ups on the playground structure.
the little kids crowd around and say "Whoa, do you
take steroids?" and then they all boast generously and try
to pull themselves up. It felt nice to be in a crowd
of little kids today. They wanted to see my
arm muscles. There was the little kid area and an old man area –
dozen or so non-English speakers crowded around 2 or three
tables playing dominos and shit.
Maybe I’ll crash their party too sometime.

Weekend Update- aka Procrastination

2008-06-09T08:19:00.001-07:00

Alas, tis Monday, yet again. Let's reminisce about the past, those days when we were free, shall we?

This felt like the first weekend of summer, though we are technically still 12 days away from being able to make that claim official. On Friday, Dr. J came up from North Carolina to take in the sounds of Four Tet, who were to play Studio B in Brooklyn. Unfortunately, as we reveled in anticipation of the show, we got word that it was canceled due to a family emergency. Rats.

I quickly cooked up alternate plans: catch the band Dirty on Purpose and a couple of short films at the opening night of Rooftop Films, followed by a visit to my friends Lady Rizo, Erin Hill and Luci Butler at the first installment of Lady Rizo Presents Girdle.

Saturday brought with it lots of heat, humidity and some damn fine BBQ. J, Chris and I made our way to Madison Square Park for the start of the 6th Annual Big Apple BBQ, listening to the DEFiBULATORs as we absorbed the beer, sweat and sauce. Afterward, we took the train out to Brooklyn to cruise up onto the rooftop of the lovely Dan Torres, where there was a sunset and more BBQ, courtesy of Dan's awesome neighbor who chefs at Benoit in the city. We tried to make it to BAM post BBQ to see Marc Ribot's Ceramic Dog but we missed our stop and were too hot and tired at that point to turn back.

On Sunday, J, Marc and I had brunch at Falai Panetteria and then headed back to the Big Apple BBQ to see Alex Battles and the Whiskey Rebellion. Megan met up with us, we had more beer and danced, lavishing in 10 degree cooler weather. J and I then finally made it to BAM, where we were going to see the film Celine and Julie Go Boating. Unfortunately, we were a week early; it screens next Friday. We opted for lunch in Park Slope instead.

After lunch, we hoped into the 9th Street and 7th Avenue F Station, only to discover that there was a power outage causing the suspension of all F line service.

So we went over to Flatbush Avenue to catch the 1 train at Bergen Street. 5 minutes after swiping our cards, the lights begin to flicker. Power out. It was clear that no train would be able to take us back to Manhattan. Our alternatives were finding and waiting for a bus (the M41 I thought, but no, it does not cross the river), calling Arecibo car service (my favorite) or walking across the Manhattan Bridge to get from Park Slope to my apartment in the Lower East Side. Armed with iced coffee and bottles of water, we went for the walk, enjoying the hot, beautiful weather along the way.
It is now Monday. J is on a flight back home; Megan, Chris, Dan, Marc and I are all back at our respective jobs; the Big Apple BBQ is over; the subways are working again and I am thinking about tonight, when I'll be going to The Living Room to catch a performance from Sweden's answer to Bob Dylan, the musician Tallest Man on Earth.

Until then, here is an article I read in the Sunday Times. Love and relationships seem to be on the minds' of everybody I talk to these days. I blame the heat.